I haven’t done this in so long, it actually took me a few minutes to remember how! 🙂

I just..there is so much going on.  We’re moving to a new house this weekend, which is both exciting and stressful. I think I am a bit overwhelmed by the amount of work that has to be done and stressed about the fact that I’m not allowed to do most of it.  Everyone keeps reminding me – and I know it comes from love and concern – that I am going to be pretty useless.  I am hoping I can at least be responsible for packing and labeling boxes and everyone else can just move them.  Also, Allan’s parents are coming – and I love them! but they don’t live with the fact that I’m pregnant everyday, and I’m just starting to show (yay!), but I worry that they’ll think I’m being lazy or something – which I KNOW is dumb of me.  I mean, Helen has had kids, but she’s just such a tough woman, I don’t want her to think I’m just wimping out. Bleh. 

In other news, Allan has a job interview for a position at the Texas Freshwater Fisheries Center (one of his favorite places) on Tuesday morning, so that’s exciting but also kind of scary, because if he gets it, it means I may end up moving to Athens, which isn’t a bad place or anything it’s just not Nacogdoches – the only place I’ve ever really lived.  Plus, I’d rather be around my family while I’m pregnant and when the baby is new. We’ll see.  I actually am hoping he’ll get the job at the lufkin zoo that he applied for because then he can just commute. 🙂

I know God’s got this…which is comforting, because I don’t.


I wonder if anyone even reads this now…
rather than recapping half a year’s events, i’m just going to pick up like i never left off.

I’m engaged…as in I’m getting married…as in for the rest of my
life. Pretty scary and really really amazing. The marriage part doesn’t
intimidate me as much as the wedding part which is just ridiculous
because the wedding is one day and the marriage is my LIFE.  I
guess that just goes to show how massively superficial I can be
sometimes.  I guess it’s because I’m just completely 110%
confident in my relationship with Allan and in our future..but I’m not
so confident in myself about this particular thing.  What if it’s
all a huge mess? a total wreck disaster failure hideous awful. 
No. It’s going to be perfect because it’s about us – God, ALlan, Me.
and that’s all it’s about, huh? The rest is just decoration. 

howdy. life is busy busy. work has been going well, and i’m getting really antsy about the new apartment. NEXT WEEK! yay! I miss Mallory and everybody a whole lot, but they’ll be back soon. 🙂 I’m trying to be as non-stressed as possible, but sometimes I get a tad overwhelmed. 🙂 Allan and I are doing great, and it gets better everyday.

wow…xanga hasnt seen much of me lately…i kinda miss the little guy. I’ve been mondo busy with work (full time at Lasergraphics, COME SEE ME!) and helping out with my dad and stuff.  I’m looking forward to moving into my apartment with Mallory next month and of course my birthday in 11 days (write it down people!! 28th!).  there have been all kinds of new developments in the lives around me, too. my sister and Jenni have both had there little boys.  Ana’s son, Sam (oh my stars, he is SO cute!) was born on his due date and is beautiful! Jenni’s little baby Asher was a few weeks early, but he is doing well in a hospital in Galveston. CALL HER, she needs the encouragement. so yeah, life has been full. stay in touch.

It’s really upsetting to see people with whom you were once close and realize that they are totally..what’s the word i want? disappointing…and in my case more likely because I have changed so much. It’s not so much DISAPPOINTING as it is just entirely unlike you would ever imagine them to be…in your eyes.  It’s not that they aren’t the exact same but that the feeling they evoke in you is entirely NOT what you could ever anticipate.  People you LOVE…looked up to…admired…you now worry for…fear…cry over…Eh.

I miss Allan intensely. Six weeks, you guys…it’s been four days. I don’t know how long I can keep this up.

wow, i haven’t updated in a really long time.  i hope everyone is
doing well as the scholastic year winds down.  i just got out of
my spanish final, and i think it went well despite a few rough patches.
now it’s time to gear up for my political science final, but first i
must shower.

Now I was sitting waiting wishing
That you believed in superstitions
Then maybe you’d see the signs
But Lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain’t the Lord, no I’m just a fool
Learning loving somebody don’t make them love you

Jack Johnson is the new emo.